The world of partisan politics was turned upside down last night when Muammar Gaddafi announced he would indeed be seeking the GOP nomination for the 2012 election. A Tripoli straw-poll determined that the Libyan native has already bounded far ahead of Michelle Bachman, but a long way remains ahead for the aging dictator before he can overcome the bases of support for the likes of Romney and Perry.
Questions swirled. When asked whether he supported the U.S. constitution, he replied “What’s that? I’ve been following the discourse for years and haven’t heard too much about it. Aren’t they revising it or something?” When asked about his view of American history, Gaddafi responded “The U.S. has a long noble history. Besides the flip-flopping over Libya, I can really relate to a lot of it. I look at the noble way America put down the rebels and I think I can learn a lot.”
When asked who his running mate would be, the fearless leader just stared for a few minutes and said “Who do you think? Miss America.” When questioned further about who “Miss America” was, he grinned and said “Condie”. When questioned as to the meaning of the rebel discovery of a box of photos of Condoleezza Rice at his compound, he just shrugged and said “I wouldn’t want to have any one run beside me besides my darling black African woman”.
We were unable to contact Rice for comment.
Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair was saddened that Gaddafi didn’t enter British politics. “We could learn a lot from this man.” On the other hand, President Barack Obama said, “You know, it’s a real shame, I could have given him a pretty high appointment. He has a certain flair.” Both of them wish Gaddafi all the best.
A group of Gaddafi supporters gathered in St. Paul, Minnesota to express their support for their favorite candidate. When asked why they were voting for him, one replied “He’s really the only candidate that doesn’t make us yawn. And he’s undeniably committed to the fight against terrorist rebels.”
Concerns abound about Gaddafi’s ability to gain the sympathy of the base of Republic voters abound. Some commentators wonder whether his Arabic heritage, his ostentatious non-suit apparel and his hard to spell plurality of names hurt his chances of courting the American voters. Gaddafi was dismissive of such thoughts, quipping “Do you think Bachman’s supporters can spell her name?”
Unassociated Press, August 26, 2011